The Random Musings of a Man

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

I'm stuck....

I'm not really sure how I should say this here. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have three options, all of which have their advantages and disadvantages. I kinda need a lil help.

I have on one hand the opportunity to go back to Colorado, spend it with my family, work in the family business, play with the racecars that I'd love to do, be able to be with my friends from Highschool and be in a familiar place and have a stable living and life. It would also mean big changes in my personal life, spending more time, and adding a lot more distance between myself and my girlfriend. It would definitely change how we would act together and I'm not sure I want that at all.

Secondly I have the opportunity to stay here and try to keep plugging away at my dream. I'd love to keep on the path and try to be successful out here in North Carolina, but getting into the racing industry has probably been the hardest thing I've ever tried to do. I have the ability to be away from my parents, somewhat close to the girl I love and have a new life and the love that I have for the area still here....

Thirdly I could just decided not to be with my family, not stay in North Carolina, and try to move and be closer to my girlfriend. If I was to stay in North Carolina after this month, I'd probably have to get a job just as a regular auto mechanic just to stay afloat, which heck, I could take that anywhere, and if I wanted to I could be much much closer to the woman I love and be near people who are nearly family to me already. Its a really attractive option, but it leads me away from my true family. I'm not sure if I want any of the options to be honest with you.

I've come to this huge crossroads, do I stop chasing a dream, and where do I go from there? the stability of my parents, or the support and comfort of a woman who loves me and adores me to death? Or do I not do either and continue plugging away here hoping I can get what I've always wanted... I don't want to give up on anything, but all the options have drawbacks and advantages... I'm getting pulled in so many different directions I don't know which way to go.